Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
