a queef is a wish your heart makes.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
