I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
