my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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