I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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