I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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