Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
