GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
