She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize