why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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