Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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