you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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