I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I intend to get homeless drunk
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize