I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
