How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I understand Curling. That high.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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