i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
NoShamevember. You game?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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