Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
