haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
