Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
