I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
