Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
