I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize