What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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