we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
