What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
