vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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