You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
