office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
