the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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