You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
God, I missed his penis.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
