I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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