Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
