If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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