She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
