Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
