Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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