I have demons in me.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Randomize
