never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
