Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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