he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
