So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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