Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Randomize