We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
