Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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