There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So much Jack, so little girl.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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