Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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