i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
