ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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