Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
