Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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