Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
