i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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