Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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