I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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