i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
