i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
