Got a toothbrush?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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