How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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