what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
