maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
