You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I will be naked everywhere
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You pole danced in your parka.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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